San’s family journal

This is to all my friends. Thank you for the condolence extended to my family. We are fine and we accepted my father’s death with a thankful heart, as God the father didn’t forsake my father at the very last minute of his life. God is so good and wonderful as He sent a reverence to pave the way for him and lead him into heaven.

God gave my father the strength to endure for 5 days, as his vital organs could have failed within a day or two. That period served as a buffer period as my family could slowly accept the fact that he was leaving us. God gave us a sign that father is with him by allowing father to leave gracefully and peacefully. Even his facial appearance was as healthy as anyone could be. Praise the Lord!

So, my dear friends, we accept your condolence with a graceful heart. Thank you and may God enlightens us so that we will appreciate the time we have on this earth. 

After father departed, we cleansed the body and dressed him up. While we were waiting for the dawn to come, we flipped the photos that were taken when we were young. We enjoyed the time as we laughed at each other about how we looked like when we were young. Father was actually quite slim and without the belly. During the mourning period, we didn’t actually do the mourning. My mother didn’t on the morning attire as well. All the children were playing here and there around father’s coffin. After the funeral, at the evening, we had a wonderful dinner at a chinese restaurant.

There were many relatives that were not so accustomed to the way we behaved over the last three days. I don’t blame them at all because they were not Christians yet. When the time my grandfather past away, the environment was totally different. Even though we are Christians, but we have to observed some of the Chinese traditions as well because we are Chinese at the same time.

For us, we are very glad that father departed peacefully and gracefully without any regrets. We also know that we will be seeing him again in heaven in a not every far future. The most important thing is that we are very sure that he is now with Jesus and that is something as wonderful as one can imagine. Thus, there is no mourning whatsoever is needed. Anyway, don’t get me wrong, we are saddened by the fact that father is not longer with us though he was not as good as we expected from him. We are human beings after all. The ultimate thing is father is waiting for us in heaven.       

We took father back home on Friday afternoon. It took him about 12 hours before he left us. We were not expecting father would last so long without all the life supports. Anyhow, the feeling was just very weird. Yes, that is the only way I know to describe the feeling I had at the time.  

I spent most of my time sitting at the side of father and watching him gasping for air.  Technically, I was watching him dying in front of me. Basically, there was nothing that I can do except watching and medically he should have passed away earlier than this. I really don’t know what to wish for. What was he waiting for and what is the reason that he was hanging there and refused to go? 

Anyhow, when the time came, he left gracefully and peacefully. I guess there is no other better way of leaving this life as the way my father did.

Father was in coma since Tuesday (12/6). Though he was in coma, but he still could respond to us when we talk to him where we could feel the change of breathing rhythm and the motion of his eyes. The doctor said she could not do anything more to father and he was transferred to normal wad on Thursday afternoon. He was discharged from the hospital on Friday afternoon and reached home at about 2 pm by ambulance. 

We thought he would pass away once he reached home as all the life support will be taken away, but he was still hanging as if he still had some unsettle business. Mother asked if he would like to meet his siblings and he responded. By 8 pm, all of my brother’s siblings were there and he still refused to go. The reverence came and we have a short gathering with church members. We sang songs and pray for my father.

At about 11 pm, the reverence returned with a brother and both of them together with my mother prayed specifically for my father as the reverence had the urge to pray for him. The reverence told us that father didn’t have the courage to face God as he felt that he had a lot of shortcomings and sins in his life. They sang songs and then the reverence “led” my father to do a confession prayer and strengthened his faith in Christ. After the prayer, father left us at 1:42 am. 

He was so peaceful and his facial appearance was not of a sick person’s. By that time, the dialysis has been stopped for 2 days and he just looked like a healthy person sleeping. I guess he actually found his way to heaven. Whatever it is, the most important and comforting thing is that he left gracefully and peacefully.

Father has been in stage of unconsciousness for more then 36 hours. He is now in CCU (critical care unit) and on serious medication to support his vital functions. Doctor mentioned a lot of things like hypoxia to the brain, bone marrow shutting down, stem stroke, major bacteria infection, internal bleeding, hypo-pressure, brain damage etc. 

We have decided to wait for another day and see if father is going to regain consciousness or not. By then, someone just has to make the call.

I was so mad about Yen the other day when she went into the kitchen while I was cooking to light the mosquito coil with the stove. I asked her why she didn’t use the lighter. She replied she didn’t know how to use a lighter. 

Have you ever come across any grownups that don’t know how to operate a lighter? Ladies and gentlemen, presenting Yen, my wife. I still could remember that I tough her how to use one some weeks ago and now she was giving me the usual I don’t know stuff. That was really a blow to the gas outlet and I started to jump. She even refused to learn how to use a lighter and what I am getting here? A wife that always say I don’t know, I forget, I don’t know how etc.

Well… after venting of some serious complaint about her attitude towards learning trivial things, I started to feel that I was just wasting my breath as I knew that she will be saying the same don’t know stuff not before long. I guess getting a wife is getting whatever of hers in a package. Maybe I really have to get serious about accepting her as herself though it sounds very wrong logically.

While I was showing my wife the way to go to SS2 on a map, Grace snuggled in between us and starting point here and there as if she knew the way. In the middle of the discussion, I sort of getting impatient on Yen as she is really terrible when comes to directions. Sometimes, it really seems to me that she actually refuses to learn new routes. Anyhow, I guess Yen is not good with direction that she is just not good at direction and that is all. Yen was also impatient of my impatient.

We started talk to loudly and suddenly Grace’s voice came in between our “conversation”. Grace actually said don’t talk anymore to us. We were amazed at the speed she was catching up speech. At the other hand, Grace also reminded us of something that is more important than directions that is when you are going nowhere, don’t argue your way out of it.

The mother dog opposite my house was sad lately. May be it was due to me for not seeing clearly or something as the mother dog somehow seems thinner then the time when she had her puppies with her. 

I guess the owner had sent the puppies away to somewhere the mother misses her puppies and was not able to eat well. Maybe I am bit sentimental here but it seems like I could actually see the sad expression on the mother dog’s face. The puppies were all very cute and healthy. It was kind of fun to see then wobbling here and there. One of puppies used to come and greet us every time we went to open our gate.

We were actually got tempted to adopt the cutest puppy among them, but somehow the reality sunk in and we were deterred by the fact that we have to take care of the puppy on top of a handful of household chores.

It has been awhile that I didn’t post anything here. There were quite a lot of things happened during the last few days. I guess I just have to break them down and put them in one at a time.

So… about the gardening job I was mentioning, I manage to spend 2 hours on the garden and I have taken the before and after photo as well. However, there is still some more grass that I have not tidied up yet because I could not just spend all my time on the garden as there were other house chores waiting for me.

The garden might be way smaller then what you have expected, but to actually maintaining one is quite daunting job. You know what i mean.

While I was marking student’s reports, I heard some gushing sound outside of my office. I notice there was reflection of red flame over the office window and I was not really paying much attention to it, as I knew that there were some people installing a new air-con unit at one of the lecture rooms. I decided to continue with the marking. The clerk in my office dashed out together with another worker who is working on the wiring. My other colleagues followed and join in the dash. The situation suddenly became very intense as there were people now running for their lives. However, everything last for like 10 seconds and the flame gone.

So apparently there was a outburst of gas from the old air-con unit. Those people were amazed that I was still sitting on my desk. I don’t know how to answer them. well… it is may be I am the type of wait and see person and will only act base on logic.